You’ve found the fortitude before, when the deep depression hits and life seems without light, to move forward. And when you did that, when you decided to simply live, good things did manage to happen. You did laugh and find purpose and realize that you had people in your corner. The sun was beautiful and the snow was enchanting and coffee was delicious. You saw something, loved something, enjoyed something, learned something. You stayed and it was worth it. You found reasons to continue and they were good reasons.
When that depression hits again, remember that you have been stronger that the desire to*end* before and you were glad to have woken up again. Maybe you didn’t win the lottery, but you got to play with a kitten and share dinner with friends and see an eclipse. Life is small, ordinary, wonderful moments that you forget about when you are in your darkest hours. Remember what you did to pull through – your strength. Remember who helped you get through – your support. Remember that core of steel that pulled you out before and grasp it and hold on. Remember that desire is a passing thing, but that you… you are not. You are real and you matter. Remember that.
If you can’t get through on your own, find your local suicide hotline. Reach out and ask for the help you need. You’ve felt this before and it hasn’t beaten you. You are resourceful and strong and important. And you are NOT alone.